Dammit Ruby!
by Hookedonapirate
Summary: Captain Swan AU based on a prompt: Ruby forces Emma to go shopping with her, then forces her to try on a bunch of outfits. While Emma is in the changing room, Ruby decides it'd be funny to steal all of Emma's clothes, leaving her in nothing but her underwear. Emma decides she's just going to have to try to sneak out in her underwear and hope no one notices...


"I am not wearing that."

"Why not?" Ruby asked, a look of confusion washing over her features. "You don't have anything else in your closet that even comes close to resembling a dress."

"That's a shirt," Emma corrected. "I wore that for Halloween three years ago, remember?" Her voice was a mixture of amusement and irritation as her best friend held up a long, black shirt that Emma had worn with a pair of black leggings as part of her cat costume for halloween. It was low-cut and very revealing. She had worn a long-sleeved shirt underneath it, but she would certainly not wear it by itself, especially as a dress with no pants.

"But it's the most normal thing you have."

Emma sighed and took the shirt from her friend, hanging it back up in the closet. "Absolutely not."

Ruby crossed her arms. "So what are you going to wear for your date tomorrow night then? Certainly not what you have on now."

Emma put up her hands in defense, confused as she peered down at her clothes. She had on a long, grey shirt and faded jeans. "What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"

"Seriously? You look like a homeless person," Ruby replied as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Emma shot her an offended look. "I do not."

"Whatever you say, Em."

Emma visibly sighed. She didn't even want to go on this date in the first place. It was a blind date that was set up by Ruby and her boyfriend, Liam, who was also her date's brother. She had never met the guy, he had just moved to the States from England, but she already detested him based simply upon the fact that Ruby and Liam had practically shoved this date down her throat.

Emma grabbed a black sweater with colorful flowers over the shoulder and a long, jean skirt from the pile of clothes on the bed that Ruby had already disapproved of. "What about this sweater and skirt? I don't have to look like a slut for this guy to like me, do I?"

Ruby scoffed. "Oh dear lord, you are not wearing that. Killian is not shallow, but still, you're going on a date, not trying to get adopted. That sweater in particular is absolutely hideous and that skirt is something my granny would wear. I wouldn't be caught dead in those clothes if I were the last orphan on earth."

Emma scowled, unappreciative of the orphan remarks. Emma's parents had given her up for adoption as a baby and after being shuffled through the foster system for twelve years, the Nolan family kindly took her in; Ruby had lived down the street from them. Her parents had died in a car accident when Ruby was only six years old and was taken in by her Granny Lucas. Ruby was one of the few people who understood what it was like to feel alone, so they soon became best friends. They were inseparable after that even when they went off to college. They both moved to New York, far away from their hometown.

Ruby took the hangers with the sweater and skirt between her fingertips as though they were contaminated with some deadly virus and threw them back on the mountainous pile before grabbing the shirt-dress again. "You're wearing this."

Emma huffed and put it right back in the closet. "I'm definitely not wearing this. You should know that I would feel very uncomfortable in this. Halloween was bad enough and clearly a lack of judgement on my part, but a first date? No thanks." She really didn't know how she and her roommate put up with one another after all these years, they were so different. Other than the fact that they were both raised without birth parents, they had nothing in common. Ruby was boisterous and bold and had no boundaries. It was a wonder how her boyfriend was a straight-laced naval officer. Maybe it was the way the man looked in a uniform, Emma didn't really know.

Ruby expelled a heavy sigh, resting her hands on her hips. "Well, what do you propose you wear then? And don't you dare say a sweater and jeans."

Emma shrugged. "This is all of the clothes I have, Ruby." Her friend had already done a thorough search and had thrown everything she didn't approve of on the bed, which was everything except for the black shirt-dress.

"Fine, you're wearing something of mine," Ruby decided as she started to head for the door.

"I already told you I'm not wearing your clothes," Emma refused. She loved her roommate dearly, but Ruby had a very loud taste, with her bright, revealing clothes and over-accessorizing; there was no way Emma would wear anything in Ruby's closet. Emma shot Ruby a scowl that told her she was not backing down from her stance.

"Fine, we're going shopping."

Emma hated the mall. She hated everything about it. She hated the obnoxious stores and the clothes and posters with ridiculously good-looking models; like if anyone wore the clothes that the models posed in, this is what they would look like. That was definitely not the case with Emma, as far as she knew. She certainly would never look that good in a camisole or a pair of jean shorts. Emma had always been comfortable with wearing loose, baggy clothing. Grey hoodies and sweatpants were her forte.

"Ooh, this is my store. We're going in here." Ruby grabbed Emma's hand and hurried into one that of course had mannequins wearing ripped and revealing material. Seriously, who bought clothes that were pre-ripped anyway?

The store looked like a place where members of a motorcycle gang and their wives would go to shop. They walked around and Ruby grabbed every item that looked good to her, which was pretty much the whole fucking store, other than the men's section. Emma was amazed that such a small person could carry that amount of clothing at once.

"Okay, you're trying these on. Let's get you a fitting room."

Emma sighed in exasperation. She already knew that she wasn't going to like anything Ruby offered her. This was going to be a long day.

It had been an hour of trying on hideous outfits, from black leather skirts and fishnet stockings to slutty red dresses and see-through leopard blouses that revealed her bra. Emma became exhausted from trying on clothes and she was only two seconds away from calling off the date altogether. "No more. Please," Emma begged from the fitting room in a little navy blue wrap dress. She eyed herself in the mirror. No, she was definitely not wearing this. It had a very low neckline, showing off the valley of her breasts and it was laced up in the back, revealing far too much skin than Emma was comfortable with. She liked the dress, the lightweight fabric and how she actually looked in it, but she wasn't confident enough to actually wear it.

Emma was used to loose-fitting clothes that didn't show off her curves or other assets. She didn't really think she had anything to show off. But she to admit, as she turned to the side and studied the image in the mirror, she didn't hate what she saw. In fact she was very pleased with the reflection. Of course, that's how these fitting rooms were designed, with the dim lighting and specially-designed mirrors that were most likely altered somehow so that customers were happy with what the saw in the mirror and ended up purchasing the items.

"This is the last one, promise. Now let me see."

Emma sighed in defeat before lifting her hand and turning the door handle. She drew in a long breath for stepping out.

Ruby's jaw drooped at the sight before her. A slow, broad smile graced the brunette's lips. "Holy shit, Em. You need to show that hot bod more often, oh my god. If you weren't my best friend and roommate I'd hit that."

Emma blushed as she looked down at her dress with a sheepish smile. "You really like it?"

"Ummm… duh. Now turn around, let me see the back."

Emma reluctantly shifted and did a slow spin, revealing her backside for everyone to see. She was wearing her super girl bra and panties underneath and the blue strap was shown under the laced-up back but luckily they were similar hues of blue. She heard Ruby whistle as Emma finished, facing her roommate again.

"Of course, when you wear this, you will not be wearing a bra."

"If I wear this," Emma pronounced. "Emphasis on 'if'.

"Okay come on, you look drop dead gorgeous. Killian's eyes are going to pop out of his fucking head."

"Even if you were right, which is highly unlikely, I'm not sure I want that reaction."

Ruby looked dumbfounded. "Why would you not want your date drooling over you? The guy's hot and if he's anything like his brother, he'll be incredible in the sac."

Emma's eyes blew wide. "Ruby!" she chastised. "First of all, that's way more information than I ever needed to know and second of all, there will be no 'sacs' of any kind involved unless it's a to-go sac from the restaurant. This is a first date, and there's no way he'd ever want me anyways."

Ruby's features lightened. "Don't sell yourself short, Emma," she said softly. "Any guy would be lucky to be with you. When are you going to realize that?"

Emma looked at her doubtfully.

"Alright, I have an idea. Why don't I pay for the dress and when you decide you feel confident enough to wear it, then it's yours," Ruby suggested. "And if you want to wear sweaters and jeans on your date, I'm sure Killian will like you nevertheless."

Emma narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Really? You're just going to be okay with me wearing that ugly sweater with the granny skirt?"

Ruby's nose scrunched up in disgust. "Not really… but if it's what you're more comfortable in, then you should wear it."

Emma was not buying it. There was no way Ruby would settle for that outfit as long as Emma was going on a date with her boyfriend's brother. This was some kind of trick, Emma was sure if it. "Alright. If you really want to buy it just so it will hang up in my closet, collecting dust."

"That's fine." Ruby looked indifferent about it, but Emma knew her roommate better than that. "Now go change out of the dress so I can pay for it and then we can get some soft pretzels in the food court. I'm starving."

Emma studied Ruby one last time before turning around to head back into the fitting room. "Okay then." She cautiously slipped inside, shutting the door behind her.

"Hey, how about I take your clothes back while you change," Ruby suggested through the door.

Emma complied without even giving it another thought and let Ruby in to take the clothes.

"Just hang the dress over the door when you're out of it and I'll bring it up to the register to pay for it."

"Okay." Emma turned away from both her friend and the mirror on the wall as she started pulling her straps down. Ruby gathered the clothes in her arms and Emma opened the door just enough to allow Ruby to walk out with the clothes before shutting it behind her. Emma slipped out of the dress, letting it fall to the floor. She stepped out of it and bent over to pick it up, replacing it on the hanger before throwing it over the top of the door, letting it drape over the edge. It was quickly removed from the other side as Emma turned around to get the clothes she arrived there with.

Her face fell in confusion.

Her clothes were gone. All that was left was her purse and shoes. "Rubes, you accidentally took my clothes," she called through the door, but even after a moment she heard no response. She tapped on the door. "Ruby, I need my clothes back."

There was still no answer. Emma huffed in frustration. Why the hell did Ruby take her street clothes? Emma went to her purse and pulled out her phone to text her friend.

 **E: I need my clothes back so I can get dressed. Please and thank you.**

Emma waited. Still no reply. She started to panic, her stomach coiling with nerves as she cracked the door open ever so slightly and peeked through it. There was no sign of Ruby, although the angle of the opening only allowed her a limited view. "Ruby, are you out there? Please, I need my clothes back. I'm getting cold." Goosebumps crawled up her skin and it had nothing to do with the temperature of the air.

Emma started to get irritated as she shut the door and stepped back, trying to think her way out of this current predicament. How could Ruby do this to her? It was obviously one of her sick pranks. Emma had usually been lucky enough not to be on the other end of them, it was usually Emma's adoptive brother, David, who fell victim. Ruby absolutely loved pulling pranks on him. She lived for it. Every year on April Fools, she came up with the most deceptive, carefully concocted schemes. Emma was pretty sure it was Ruby's favorite day of the year.

 _Fuck_.

Emma glanced at her phone. It was April 1st. Shit shit shit. This was one of Ruby's godforsaken April Fools pranks! There was no way Emma was getting out of this with her pride and dignity in tact.

 _Okay, just breathe,_ Emma tried to coax herself, taking in deep breaths. They both arrived at the mall in Ruby's car and surely she wouldn't leave without her best friend. Or would she? This was one of her stupid pranks after all.

Emma started to get frustrated. She really did not want to spend her whole day in this damn dressing room in her underwear. She reached the door again and opened it ever so slightly, checking out her surroundings. The store was only mildly busy and the fitting rooms were located in the back end. There were a few racks of clothes about twenty feet away. What if she just darted out and grabbed a dress real quick and ran back in. Then at least she would be clothed and she could pay for the items at the front counter. Emma shut the door again and went to her purse to get her wallet. Emma's eyes blew wide when she found it was missing.

 _Shit_.

Ruby took her wallet too? "You've got to be kidding me Lucus," Emma muttered as she shoved her purse away. She picked up her phone and tried to call Ruby, but it went straight to her voicemail of course. Emma left a 'not so lovely' message with several explicit words before she hung up. She thought about calling someone else, maybe her friend, Regina, but then she figured Ruby would have made sure to tell all of their friends not to answer. Emma called Regina anyway, but of course there was no answer. She tried Victor and Jefferson but she had no such luck. Some friends.

Then she finally got a response from Ruby.

 **R: Sorry, Em. I just wanted you to get out of that shell of yours. Meet me in the foodcourt when you're bold enough to leave that fitting room.**

"Damnit Ruby!" She shouted at her phone.

She approached the door one more time. She decided she was going to steal the clothes if she had to. She was no thief, but _yep_ , that was pretty much her only solution other than being stuck in the fitting all day until her friend decided she had enough of a laugh and came back for her.

Emma looked down at her bra and underwear. God this would be so embarrassing if someone saw her. The Superman logo was on each cup of her bra and also on the back of her underwear. She was a Supergirl-watching junkie, so what?

After seeing that she was in the clear, at least for the time being, she swallowed thickly, preparing herself for what she had to do.

She scanned the selection of clothes, picking out one of the dresses that she could easily grab. She made sure there was no one in the back of store before proceeding.

Steadying her breathing, she left the door cracked open so as not to lock herself out, then bolted for the rack. She swooped over and grabbed the dress, but when she went to pull it off the rack, the straps were snagged on something. Emma cursed under her breath as she struggled to entangle it. It was caught on an adjacent hanger. Okay, next dress.

Emma looked up and saw someone coming. Panic rushed through her blood. She looked at the fitting room door but it was too far away. The person would definitely see her. So she quickly ducked and hid inside the rack behind the clothes. She prayed that whoever it was would just walk by and not linger. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she saw footsteps approaching. She could tell by the black boots that it was a man. She watched him walk by and sighed in relief.

She grabbed a different dress and pulled it down before she opened up a space between the clothing. She poked out her head and looked in both directions, seeing that it was clear. She started to bolt towards the fitting room, watching behind her to make she wasn't spotted by an employee. The coast was clear and she was so close to the finish line. Then she whipped her head around before smacking right into something solid almost knocking it over. Or rather, _someone_. On instinct, she grabbed onto the person as his arms wrapped around her waist to keep her from falling.

Emma's whole body froze when her eyes met his. Her mouth fell open, and she lost a breath, getting lost in the bright blue depths that made her forget about her current predicament.

"Whoa, careful lass."

His accented words brought her back to reality and she pulled away slightly, scanning him from top to bottom. She noticed he was wearing jeans and a blue Henley before her eyes came back to his. He had dark, unruly hair, scruff on his chin and he certainly didn't look like he belonged in this store.

Emma became unfocused again, until she heard him clear his throat, eyeing her body. "Um, excuse me for saying so, but…" he side-stepped to block her from the front of the store and leaned in, speaking quietly, "...are you aware that you're in only your underwear?"

 _Fuck._ Emma quickly lifted the dress up against her body to cover herself, her cheeks just as red as the color of the material.

The man chuckled as she scrambled for an excuse.

"I was um… I was just… this is a bathing suit... I was just trying it on and I was going to model it for my friend but I seemed to have lost her," the words stumbled out as she attempted a smile.

He nodded as though to humor her. "I see… I've never seen Superman bikinis before but it's a good look on you."

Emma blushed even more, if it were possible. "Yeah, it's the newest fashion in bathing suits," she said, trying to sound cool and collected but her voice was shaky and her words were broken. God, she was so lame.

"Hmmm…" He nodded again, biting his bottom lip, and she could tell he didn't believe her.

Emma sighed. "Fine. My friend took my clothes and wallet, leaving me in only my underwear when I was in the fitting room and I was trying to steal this dress so I could leave without completely humiliating myself but apparently that did not work very well." She paused to catch her breath. "So, go ahead and tell on me. There's really no way to make this day any more worse than it already is."

He flashed her an empathetic smile. "Sorry to hear, love. But I can assure you I won't rat you out. In fact… why don't you change into the dress and I'll pay for it."

Emma's jaw dropped in shock. "Really?" She shook her head. "No, I couldn't ask you to do that."

"I insist. Believe me, I know far too well what's it's like to be the butt of a joke; I have an older brother."

Emma managed a small smile. "Thank you." She started to move but then looked down at the dress. "Do you mind if I pick something else out?"

Killian eyed the clothing in her hand and cocked a brow. "What, red leather dresses not your style?"

Emma laughed. "Not really. I'm more of a hoodie and sweatpants kind of girl."

"I see. Why don't you secure yourself in the fitting room and I'll find you something else?"

"Thank you. You're a lifesaver." She almost bounced in excitement before going to the fitting room, taking the dress with her just in case he ditched her too.

Five minutes later, there was a light tap on the door. Emma opened it and cautiously poked her head out.

"I hope these are okay, love. I wasn't sure of your size so I got a few."

"Thank you." Emma took the clothes and shut the door. He had gotten her some leggings and a gray t-shirt. Perfect. Emma put on a pair that fit her, along with the t-shirt before stepping into her flats. She grabbed her purse and left the fitting room, meeting the kind, handsome stranger outside the door. "Thank you again," she told him graciously.

"Not a problem." He chuckled as they went up to the front counter to purchase the items and stood in line. "Glad I could help out a damsel in distress."

"I was not distressed," she argued and then paused breifly, tilting her head in agreement. "Okay, maybe a little," she laughed. "So, what made you decide to come here, if you don't mind me asking? It doesn't seem like your type of store."

"Well, according to my brother and his girlfriend, I dress too boring, and they suggested that I buy some new clothes for this blind date I'm going on. So he was going to meet me here to help me pick out an outfit but never showed."

Emma looked at him suspiciously. "Your brother sounds like my roommate. She took me here to get some new clothes for this blind date she set me up on." They both widened there eyes, realization dawning upon them, and looked to each other knowingly.

"You're Ruby's friend, Emma Swan?" He asked, bewildered at the idea.

She nodded in disbelief. "And you're Killian, Liam's brother?"

"Aye." He stuck out his hand and she shook it. "Nice to meet you, love."

"You too. So, you said your brother was meeting you here?"

Killian nodded. "We were supposed to meet in this store twenty minutes ago."

"So they both planned this. Those conniving little…" She paused and a slow, devious smile spread across her lips, thoughts starting to swarm in her head as she thought of the perfect way to get Ruby back for her little prank. She steered her head towards Killian, catching his gaze as he threw her a questionable look. "So, how would you feel about getting back at my roommate and your brother?"

Killian smirked with mischief and intrugue. "I'd say I'm on board with that. What exactly did you have in mind?"

They left the store and made their way through the crowded mall towards the food court. Ruby and Liam were sitting at one of the tables together, chatting as Emma and Killian approached, drawing their attention.

Both Ruby's and Liam's jaws dropped to the floor, their eyes blown wide when their gazes fell upon Emma and Killian.

Emma smirked and curled her arm around Killian's back as he wrapped his around her shoulder. They were both wearing black leather jackets and pants. Emma had on a hot pink, ripped blouse and he was wearing a biker t-shirt that read 'pussy magnet' and had an earring in one ear.

They started to walk past Ruby and Liam who were just sitting there completely baffled.

Suddenly, Emma turned and boldly grabbed Killian's face, bringing his mouth to hers. They started making out in front of everyone, their tongues caressing as they moaned softly into the kiss. They wrapped their arms around each other, hands groping any body part within reach, not even paying attention to their audience. Emma's heart was racing at the contact, she indulged in every second of their plan and knew that Killian was enjoying their little display as well from the way he groaned in her mouth.

She smirked wickedly against his lips before pulling apart, leaving them both panting for air.

Liam and Ruby called their names but they ignored them.

"What do you say we get out of here?" Emma suggested to Killian.

He extended his hand for her to take. "Where would you like to go, babe?"

She smiled, happily slipping her palm in his. "Anywhere but the mall."

"As you wish." They walked away from Ruby and Liam who were still completely and utterly stunned.

They left the mall, laughing until their ribs hurt before Killian took her home. Emma had to admit, it ended up being a pretty decent day after all.

When they arrived at Emma's apartment complex, Killian walked Emma to her door. "Thanks again, Killian for buying my clothes. I'll pay you back when Ruby returns my wallet."

"No need. It was well worth it seeing the look on their faces," he smirked. "I'm just glad Liam didn't do that to me."

Emma eyed him curiously. "Why's that? Can't handle the embarrassment of walking around the store in your undies?" she laughed.

Killian chuckled back and leaned in closer, speaking in a low, sinful tone. "You're assuming that I wear underwear, love."

Emma's breath hitched as she lifted a curious brow. "And I have a feeling I'm wrong about that assumption?"

Killian shrugged and flashed her a devilish grin. "Wouldn't you like to know."

Emma smirked and eyed his mouth. "Maybe I would." She closed the distance, curling her hands around the lapels of his jacket and capturing his lips. He groaned in response, both of them sighing pleasantly, getting caught up in a slow, heated kiss.

After they broke for air, she gave Killian her number before he bid her farewell.

They went on their date and she wore the blue dress that Ruby bought her. It turned out Emma's roommate was right about two things; Killian's eyes popped out of his head when he saw her in that dress, and he really was incredible in the sac. She also found out that he indeed does not wear undies.


End file.
